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Johnaldson's Dairy
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susie



Joined: 11 Sep 2014
Posts: 1359



PostPosted: Wed Sep 24, 2014 4:27 am    Post subject:  Reply with quote

POLEECE SCOTLAND issued this warning to drivers in Caithness.

'we have received information, from a trusted snitch, that susie will be driving on the main roads somewhere between Reay and Wick sometime on Wednesday morning. Our informant suggests that the perp has not driven on a main road for over 3 years and we advise ALL drivers to take avoidance measures where appropriate.'
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orkneycadian



Joined: 08 Sep 2014
Posts: 350


Location: Orkney

PostPosted: Wed Sep 24, 2014 8:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just in case you are still banned from e old org and can't ask the question Susie, Tesco in Wick should be open when you get there.
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ducati



Joined: 11 Aug 2014
Posts: 598


Location: Caithness

PostPosted: Wed Sep 24, 2014 3:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Driving back from Wick today after wasting the entire morning and half the afternoon (thanks a fucking bunch you know who you are..)

I came across some twat stopped in the middle of the main road almost straddling the centre white line, left indicator on. As I swerved around them at the last second (obviously I wasn't paying attention, who does?)
I looked in the rear view anticipating the kind of emergency warranting such behaviour, to see the driver looking at a fucking bird through binoculars! Dickhead! Mad
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susie



Joined: 11 Sep 2014
Posts: 1359



PostPosted: Wed Sep 24, 2014 4:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

ducati wrote:
Driving back from Wick today after wasting the entire morning and half the afternoon (thanks a fucking bunch you know who you are..)

I came across some twat stopped in the middle of the main road almost straddling the centre white line, left indicator on. As I swerved around them at the last second (obviously I wasn't paying attention, who does?)
I looked in the rear view anticipating the kind of emergency warranting such behaviour, to see the driver looking at a fucking bird through binoculars! Dickhead! Mad

Well, I sincerely hope that you don't think it was me that fucked up your day in such an impressive way ! As it was my first time behind the wheel for 3 years I thought I'd play it safe and left my binocs at home. I also hope I'm nothing to do with holding you up in any shape or form owing to driving at 18 mph behind the tractor. It took us 1 hour 20 mins from here to Nipster. Hell fire I was bored and scared. AND I have to do the reverse trip on Friday, so watch out!
I was following the other half and we went via Halkirk. I laughed when we got to the smiley mph sign, I bet it hasn't registered 18mph very often. I can tell I'm boring the pants off you, not a pretty sight, so cheerio and bon voyage.
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Jax
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 24, 2014 5:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

ducati wrote:
Driving back from Wick today after wasting the entire morning and half the afternoon (thanks a fucking bunch you know who you are) Mad


Yes you know who you are & because of this subsequent action I had a pish day on hard labour for Mrs Bradey!!!!!  Thanks a bunch double from me  Very Happy
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susie



Joined: 11 Sep 2014
Posts: 1359



PostPosted: Wed Sep 24, 2014 5:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

orkneycadian wrote:
Just in case you are still banned from e old org and can't ask the question Susie, Tesco in Wick should be open when you get there.

As I am indeed still banned, I appreciate the information provided OC.
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ducati



Joined: 11 Aug 2014
Posts: 598


Location: Caithness

PostPosted: Wed Sep 24, 2014 8:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey Susie you could buy a car from my new speed shop. You'd do it in a about 8 minutes. Er..the journey. Shocked
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orkneycadian



Joined: 08 Sep 2014
Posts: 350


Location: Orkney

PostPosted: Wed Sep 24, 2014 10:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Do you do a mail order service on this speed?
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SleveranGeordie
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 24, 2014 10:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

ducati wrote:
...to see the driver looking at a fucking bird through binoculars! Dickhead!


Is the Dickhead a member of the Tit family ?
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susie



Joined: 11 Sep 2014
Posts: 1359



PostPosted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 4:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

ducati wrote:
Hey Susie you could buy a car from my new speed shop. You'd do it in a about 8 minutes. Er..the journey. Shocked

I'm hard pressed to do anything in 8 minutes these days but I'm always open to ideas/offers
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orkneycadian



Joined: 08 Sep 2014
Posts: 350


Location: Orkney

PostPosted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 8:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am sure there are some on here who could keep you amused for 8 minutes!  Or less! :-D
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ducati



Joined: 11 Aug 2014
Posts: 598


Location: Caithness

PostPosted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 5:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I could have you outa here in 3 minutes tops Cool
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susie



Joined: 11 Sep 2014
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 5:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

ducati wrote:
I could have you outa here in 3 minutes tops Cool

May take you up on that
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ducati



Joined: 11 Aug 2014
Posts: 598


Location: Caithness

PostPosted: Fri Sep 26, 2014 12:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

orkneycadian wrote:
Do you do a mail order service on this speed?


With a good run up at Dunnet Head I could be there in 5 minutes.
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susie



Joined: 11 Sep 2014
Posts: 1359



PostPosted: Fri Sep 26, 2014 5:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

ducati wrote:
orkneycadian wrote:
Do you do a mail order service on this speed?


With a good run up at Dunnet Head I could be there in 5 minutes.

Bloody hell! I didn't think you'd come that fast!
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RagnarRocks
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 26, 2014 8:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

susie wrote:
ducati wrote:
orkneycadian wrote:
Do you do a mail order service on this speed?


With a good run up at Dunnet Head I could be there in 5 minutes.

Bloody hell! I didn't think you'd come that fast!



Poor boy has a hair trigger
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ducati



Joined: 11 Aug 2014
Posts: 598


Location: Caithness

PostPosted: Sat Sep 27, 2014 11:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

He hem. Anyway..This week in e goat.

4 cars where seen on e causymire less then 1/4 mile apart...GRIDLOCK!

The new cooncil is nearly finished still.

In Auckengill, a gate fell over an all e sheepies got out.

That bloke still hasn't found his spade..shovel and his neighbour wants it back. Was heard to say " I want my spade..shovel back"
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cait
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PostPosted: Sun Sep 28, 2014 12:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

shock! several hundred people got pished in week on friday night.

gridlock horror! 5 cars seen within 400 meters of each other near spittle. local farmer worries that his sheep suffered from pollution.

incomer votes yes -  the search for splodge. polis fear english traitor has gone into hiding amongst several thousand sheep in caithness.
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cait
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PostPosted: Sun Sep 28, 2014 12:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

scandal!

reporter on other org misspells spittal.

claims are that he, she or it did it deliberately!
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ducati



Joined: 11 Aug 2014
Posts: 598


Location: Caithness

PostPosted: Mon Oct 06, 2014 8:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Here I am again, mak..er reporting the news for the people of er..wherever the hell you are.

Wha..? Shit me notes fell on the fire...er I'll be back. Shocked


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